Wardrobe Malfunctions

2012 was a quite year for wardrobe malfunctions. Google has at least 10 pages dedicated to links on this topic at an average of a dozen per page…well that’s a lot when you do the math, and I could have kept going with next. I can distinctly remember a time when it was not cool to split your pants until Spongebob came along and ripped his on TV. Prior to that, the idea of the seat of my pants splitting was just plain embarrassing (em-bare-ass-ing?). When my pants split I would be left red faced and wondering if I was wearing the correct day of the week panties while pretty much everyone else would already know. Then there were all the ways to let boys know their zipper was down like asking the question “Are you afraid of heights?” and when they gave you a confused look you’d just say, “Cuz your zipper is!” The old standby about the barn door being open worked too.

But by far the most common wardrobe malfunction we all get to see thanks to You Tube, the Super Bowl Halftime Show, and all the major television networks is what is commonly referred to as the nip slip. In fact I am beginning to be convinced that it is part of the celebrity female mystique despite dispelling at least one thing about female celebrity breasts that might be left to the imagination. Maybe the designer fashions are a contributing factor too. A lot of the outfits the celebs wear are, among other things like being genuinely unattractive, cost prohibitive, size prohibitive, and also common sense prohibitive to me.

These days I try to look myself over in the mirror and correct any wardrobe malfunctions that may occur before going out in public. At least I can always notice when I've put my hoodie on backwards!