Fast Food Funeral

In the past I have blogged about the down side of fast food for breakfast but after reading about a fast food funeral I couldn't resist writing a little about it. First of all, the person whose life was being celebrated at this funeral (I don’t just want to say-the dead guy) was 88 years old at the time of his passing. The fast food of choice for the funeral was a Burger King Whopper Jr., although in life it was reported that the man liked all fast food. I wasn't surprised that he chose the Jr. over the regular or double Whopper, because the octogenarians I know generally have smaller appetites and smaller fixed incomes with which to maintain those appetites. The funeral procession included a trip through the Burger King drive through where the mourners each ordered a Whopper Jr. and one extra that was placed on the coffin amid the spray of flowers as the coffin was lowered into the grave site.

Of course the article got me thinking about my father-in-law, affectionately called by all of us here, Old Papa. He lived with us during his last years until his passing at the age of 98 and his favorite fast food item was a strawberry shake from Hardy’s. He did love to go out to eat though but his favorite restaurants had the food you could see. Maybe this difference is due to the fact that he was a nonagenarian rather than an octogenarian. In St. Pete he frequented cafeterias like Piccadilly and in St. Marys he was liked any place where the food was on a buffet like Shoney’s and Aunt B’s so he could see it before he chose it, and if there was a red headed waitress, it was even better.

The other thing I’m rethinking is the fact that I pooh poohed fast food for breakfast in a previous blog post. After a person reaches a certain age it really shouldn't matter what they eat because they should eat what they like. If fast food equals happiness, then so be it. That being said, if you should pass by a drive through at a fast food joint and just happen to see me (the slightly  hypocritical purveyor of fast food nutritional facts) in the line or at the pickup window, well… feel free to wave. 

YOLO and Polo

Here is a new (to me) word that rhymes with the old last name of an explorer, traveler, and writer, Marco Polo. Other similarities than rhyming, you might ask? YOLO is an acronym for you only live once, a carpe diem for the current generation. An example: Due tomorrow = Do tomorrow- YOLO. Today the term YOLO continues to evolve and now often appears linked with risky and reckless behaviors prompting some to remind its users that you only die once too.

Marco Polo only lived once also and for 24 years he seized the day as he excelled above all the other travelers of his time in determination, writing, and influence. His adventures traveling, writing, and exploring China, described an exotic new world and culture virtually unknown to westerners at that time. His willingness to venture down the road less traveled, a journey fraught with risks, seems to me to be an ancient take on the modern YOLO.

Then there’s the swimming pool game of Marco Polo. If you don’t know it, the rules are simple. One swimmer closes his eyes and says Marco and the others who are trying to avoid being caught say Polo. The person who is it (calling Marco with eyes closed) uses the voices of the others to figure which way to go to catch the next person who by the way gets to close their eyes next and be it. I found a quote from the original Marco Polo that could have something to do with how the game was named.  

"When a man is riding through this desert by night and for some reason -falling asleep or anything else -he gets separated from his companions and wants to rejoin them, he hears spirit voices talking to him as if they were his companions, sometimes even calling him by name. Often these voices lure him away from the path and he never finds it again.”- Marco Polo

How do I relate this to YOLO, you might ask? Well if you post a reckless idea that ends in YOLO on Face Book I will try to help you find your way back by putting “Marco” in as a comment.  

Random Acts and Couponing Update

Here is an update on my first month’s random acts of kindness. In a previous post I calculated that I would need to complete a minimum of 2 random acts each week in order to meet my goal for 2013. This has been trickier than I thought it would be. It doesn't seem to be as difficult being kind as it is being random and by this I mean being kind to people I don’t know. I have found that I need to make a conscientious effort to do it. I have completed 7 so far, one short of where I hoped I would be, but there is still plenty of time to catch up.

And I have two unexpected random acts of kindness to report. The first involved a nice young man with a beautiful baby girl I met at the Dollar General near my home. We chatted in the checkout line. They were ahead of me. When I came out with my two bags and headed across the field toward my home a couple of blocks away, the same nice fellow offered me a lift home. I was the recipient of a random act of kindness! The second involved my grandson. On Saturday morning we were downtown at the community market in search of free cookie samples and boiled peanuts when we ran into a friend that had found a small water turtle in the road where she parked her car. She clearly didn’t want to touch it but didn’t want to leave it in the road either. Ethan gently picked it up, and without begging can I keep him, proceeded to return it carefully to the marshy edge of the river. We all happily watched the little turtle swim away. It’s encouraging to know that committing random acts of kindness is trending for kids and it’s nice to think they can be positively influenced when adults in their lives commit random acts of kindness too.

Next is an update on my extreme couponing adventures. Yesterday I purchased 6 cans of Campbell’s soup -$0.56 each (4 chicken noodle for my flu survival kit and 2 tomato), 3 bottles of dish washing liquid – 2 Dawns for $0.49 and a Palmolive for $0.75, and two 2 liter bottles of Diet Pepsi - $0.80 each (my guilty pleasure). My total for this soup, soap, and soda trip was under $7.00 and I found out that Fred’s in Kingsland doubles coupons up to $0.70 on Saturdays. I know this isn't as extreme as the couponing on television, but it is as extreme as I've been able to get so far.

More on Super Bowl Ads

I wish they'd bring back the Budweiser frogs but someone told me they couldn't because they heard that all of them "croaked."

A couple of days ago I blogged about reject Super Bowl Ads and here I go again. General Electric wanted to sponsor the Super Bowl but they were rejected because the NFL didn’t want to make light of the game. It didn’t help that when the NFL Ad committee called about the request the phone at G.E. was answered, “Wattsup?”

*Blogger’s Note: I guess I really need to come up with something of more substance to “flesh” out this blog post. And when things need fleshing out it is always best to go with a carbohydrate, fat, and sugar or in this case I think I’ll go with Twinkies…

Twinkies were also looking for an ad slot during the airing of this year’s Super Bowl. As everyone knows their Host(ess) company has gone belly up (vs. belly out) but they still held out hopes for a Hail Mary pass. Unfortunately Twinkies don’t fall under the NFL’s current guidelines for promotion of good eating and healthy exercise.  There was also the fact that the American Heart Association might have a heart attack and Twinkies did nothing to sweeten the disposition of the American Diabetes Society. So not only did the Hail Mary fail, so also failed the sugar rush.

Personally, I think the thing that really tipped the table against Twinkies is that yellow dye no. 5 just couldn't compete with the Baltimore Ravens, Joe Flacco’s jersey color, purple no.5. 

Roman Numerals

First off let me say that I am not a fan of Roman Numerals. I don’t like them on clocks and watches. As a child when they appeared on math worksheets I saw them as “busy” work rather than “challenge” work. The biggest challenge was getting someone to whisper what C, D, or L meant (XVI were easy because I’d figured them out telling time on clocks). I also think Roman Numerals would be less tricky if the Romans had a zero in their number system. Roman Numerals today don’t really look like the originals used by the Romans either, not to mention that they obviously fell out of favor and were replaced with Arabic numbers.

So why do they use Roman Numerals to number the Super Bowls? The NFL has been using Roman numerals to identify each Super Bowl game since Super Bowl V in 1971 when then-Commissioner Pete Rozzelle made the move in the apparently belief that it would help add to the hype. Kansas City Chiefs historian Bob Moore credits the decision to go with Roman numerals instead of the more familiar Arabic numerals to none other than Lamar Hunt in order to make the game seem more important. Regardless of who had the idea to start using them, I think there’s plenty of hype for the Super Bowl these days and the Roman Numerals aren't contributing to it. They need to go. I am for calling this year’s game Super Bowl 2013 and numbering each by year ad infinitum (a little Latin-the language of the Romans-I prefer it to their numerals).

When a Foot’s a Not Foot

You may have heard of the Sub-Zero kitchen appliances, and sub 4, the under four minute mile, but lately Subway’s foot-long sandwiches have been discovered to be, well sub-foot. As a result there seems to be trouble a-foot. Subway Sandwiches is being sued because they don't seem to measure up to a couple of customers' expectations. Two people seem to have a beef about the buns they have and accuse the franchise of leaving them with shortbread. It may sound like a lot of baloney and perhaps someone is just trying to ham it up but lettuce take a moment to spread the facts. The two New Jersey men have hired a lawyer to sue Subway because in 17 stores they tested, the bread for their "$5 foot-long" sandwich meal did not measure exactly 12 inches and routinely was at least a half an inch short. Their attorney pointed to MacDonald's advertising that their quarter pound hamburger is weighed as a quarter pound before cooking and want Subway to be similarly honest as to what lengths they go too to produce their "foot-long" bread. (Could it be their loaves ARE 12 inches before baking?) They say some honesty in advertising is kneaded.

Accordingly, the attorney intends to garnish up a class-action law suit that may leave Subway owners in a pickle. Maybe the company will send some hot tomato over to offer them an olive branch instead of having to appear in front of some crusty old judge. So far Subway hasn't commented so maybe they're trying to ketchup to the facts. Hopefully, Subway bakers will rise to the occasion and take the bake. We've all heard of frivolous law suits and this one seems pretty cheesy. Personally, I think they're in it for the dough.

The Florida Python Challenge

After I saw the Florida Python Challenge video clip with Florida’s Senator (Democrat) Bill Nelson video I thought about making some snaky snarky comments about python entitlement benefits but the truth is that Burmese pythons (probably released as pet rejects) are taking over the Everglades and wreaking havoc with the natural order in its ecosystem. Global warming can’t be blamed for the python’s survival success because even in very cold weather the pythons have shown remarkable adaptability and survived.

As the mother of some South Georgia boa constrictor (and a few various rat snakes) owners I can safely say that the boa is a force to be reckoned with, at least the one my sons had as a pet was. He had a habit of escaping his confines and working his way behind various books on the shelf causing the books to be dislodged. Some of those books became chew toys for our dog, Maggie, who as a puppy was the most destructive chewer we ever owned. Boas, however, differ from pythons in that they give birth to live young, anywhere from 10 to 40 at a time, and pythons lay eggs, as many as 20 to 80 in a clutch with an occasional 100 in some clutches. Both pythons and boas are constrictors rather than venomous which just means they strike their prey and squeeze it to kill it before swallowing. Unless you are their prey most constrictors are not aggressive.

The Florida Python Challenge sponsored by the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission is a Burmese python hunting contest that kicked off on January 12^th this year and runs through February 10^th. It challenges hunters to round up and kill the invasive Burmese python. 1000 amateurs have signed up but only 27 snakes have been killed. It appears to me that the Burmese python is showing a remarkable ability to avoid hunters. Grand prizes of $1,500 for harvesting the most Burmese pythons will be awarded to winners of both the General Competition and the Python Permit Holders Competition, with additional $1,000 prizes for the longest Burmese python harvested in both competitions. Funding for the prizes is provided by Python Challenge™ sponsors. The largest Burmese python ever documented in Florida was more than 17 feet in length.

Fortunately for me, the boa my sons had would have maxed out at a length of only 10 feet, and I was sure glad when they traded it in for some geckos.